Why Some of Us, Haitians CAN'T Go To Haiti Permanently or Long term

After the earthquake, I went to Haiti for a week as a volunteer. From the minute I got off the plane, I wasn't myself. After a drive through Port-au-Prince, I couldn't hold my tears. I was depressed from day one. But I was strong enough to stay at the hospital where we were staying for the entire week, instead of going to my mom, dad and only sibling and cry my heart out. I wanted to, I could have gone, but I didn't. I wanted to help anyway I could.

It was busy every day. I saw injuries that I will never forget. I had to watch people getting their fingers and other pieces of their body removed with no anesthesia, although it was one month after the earthquake; I had to hold hands and spend time with women who were in labor for hours until their babies came. They would not let me go eat because they won't understand what they are telling them to do (at least these were happy endings. It was scary, one baby didn't breathe immediately but after a lot of rubbing, she cried). The stench of some injuries are still in my mind. I met some incredible people who left their families to go clean those unbelievable injuries, and help in all kind of other ways and I thank them for their kindness everyday.

But there some others who are always attacking Haitians for not going to live there after the earthquake or help on a long term basis because "it's not their country and they are there doing it, so why can't we, etc...". First let me start by saying it's great that you are there helping. Thank you. But that doesn't give you a right to harass me or make backhanded comments to every Haitian you come across. You being there is your own choice.

Haiti is ALWAYS on my mind. I wish I could be there right at this moment. I would love to go back for even a week and volunteer again! But like MOST Haitians, my hands are tied. I have a family in that same country that has no jobs, no way for anyone to earn a living - Except those who are getting paid from the disaster and/or politicians - And my family is not one of those families. Therefore, I have to stay here, work and support my family. After all they've done to push me where I am today, I can't let them go in line in front of some NGO's door to beg for a bag of rice or let my sister sit at home and not finishing college. In a country where EVERYTHING is priced in U.S. dollar, even though most people get paid in Gourdes, I have to stay here as a back-up.

People are quick to judge without knowing why we, Haitians, don't go for a longer period of time to help in our own country. Some of us simply can't. But from where we are, we can try our best to make an impact in our own ways. Speak up for those who don't have a voice, denounce all of the unfairness that's being done to the people of Haiti and hope that we are heard.

Haiti - After the earthquake

Pou Ayiti (Nou 2)

Every Experience is a Learning Experience - Every Exeprience is of Value

Working at that "Secret" place has definitely thought me some valuable lessons and will forever shape my behavior at future workplaces of similar structure, which I hope will never happen again! Below, are few of the lessons I have learned:

#1: NEVER do any favors because "it's a small company and it's OK to do certain favors". NO! Keep it strictly business. Go by the book. For example, DO NOT use your own car, your own gas to run errands for the company, unless you are properly compensated for it or your salary is big enough to do it for free. That so-called "Small Company" is only looking out for its bank account, not yours. At the end of the day, when you need gas, it will come out of your paycheck.

#2: They can't pay you overtime to do THEIR work because they are "tight on funds"? Then, the work can wait until the next day when you are on the clock. DO NOT punch out, and come back to do the company's work that is incomplete due to no fault of yours, because you are trying to "save them money and be a model employee" and because "it's such a small company, you should do some compromises." That same "Small Company" will not look at all of these "compromises" when it's time for them to get rid of you for financial reasons or whatever other reasons it may be. It can be ANY reason. To them, it all about business. Unlike what they usually say "you are an asset for the company", you are nothing but but something that can be replaced when they are "back on their feet".

#3: ALWAYS REMEMBER that your boss is just YOUR BOSS, no matter how "cool" or "friendly" he/she is with you. DO NOT do major sacrifices for him/her, unless you absolutely can or if it won't inconvenience you. To your boss, it's strictly business. It's all about "protecting the asset of the company he/she is responsible for". He/she is not there to protect you. Despite whatever favors you do for him/her or the company, he/she will look at you in the eyes at 4:30PM and tells you "today was your last day. You will be compensated..." and gives you 30 minutes to pack up! No hint, no warning that your job is at risk (they would not decide that one morning, your position is cut. All knew, except you). Maybe that's how it goes in the "professional world" but I would have the decency to tell my employee, if we have such a close professional relationship.

Again, this is a note to self. I will not let this experience tarnish my loyalty to future workplaces. But I will know what to do and what NOT to do. Maybe I will post some more "Lessons" soon. Or maybe I will post some positive things that happened also, although it won't be much. For now, I will leave it at that.

"Every experience is a learning experience. Every time we try something--win or lose--we learn, we grow, we attain more confidence and competence for the next time."

Couldn't Wait to Go!

Where do I start? My life has been quite interesting for the past 4 weeks. From being bullied by toxic employees to being laid off once again because of "economic reasons". Let me start with the bullies first. I worked for 8 months for that small company, to which I was dedicated. They would ask me to go get office supplies, go to multiple offices downtown on a busy day, while there are 3 cruise ships at the doc, which means crazy traffic; and I had a pretty good professional relationship with my immediate boss. We worked together before for a previous company, and he re-hired me when the opportunity was available. And I am grateful for that. But have I been an airhead, I doubt that he would have hired me again.

Anyway... I worked with some interesting characters. There is an unimaginable amount of daily drama for such a tiny workplace. I stayed away from the drama for almost the entire time I was employed there. Although words always came back to me about who is saying what about me, I tried my best and ignored it all; that is until I was attacked by a bully for no reason.

I always wonder what makes people so obnoxious and hateful towards others who never bothered them in the first place. First, this person started to demand that I get write up for things I never did. When that didn't get the reaction she expected, she attacked me and it went like this: "I hate when you're giving this look like you are something. You're nobody..." she then slammed the door saying "This bitch thinks she is better than everybody else". He r big problem was that I was never in their circle telling them who I slept with, what I ate, where I went... That made me "stalk up". I had enough. The name calling was uncalled for. So, I went to TRY talking to her. but as the loud-mouth, bully that she is, she started to yell on top of her lungs! No professionalism. Majority of these people act just like they do when they are at home; and it was just disgusting. The only thing that I said that caught her attention was "You don't know me like that. Don't mess with me". Once more, she started yelling like a little kid "YOU'RE THREATENING ME! I AM GOING TO THE POLICE". When I realized I was just wasting my time trying to reason someone who had no common sense to begin with, I gave up. I thought we were done. But I was wrong.

Days later, I once again complained to her manager about her behavior, because she accused me of putting her picture on Facebook. Her proof? Her pet who I added on Facebook, which I ALWAYS knew was a mistake but was trying to be nice and kept her, showed her a picture of someone's disgustingly scary feet that I added to my page and decided that they were her feet. I removed the troll from my page but the fact that they could not prove that the picture was her, really pissed them off and I would not break down and cry and apologize to her so she could be my friend. I mean, really? I am not attention-deprived, I didn't come to work to make friends, I have been burnt before and I refused to repeat the same mistake. I was friendly with everyone. I always said "good morning, good afternoon..." But it wasn't enough to some.

Her manager called us into a "meeting". When she walked through the door, she said "Did you call me for "THIS"" pointing at me. She then proceeded to talk about "the picture" and said "You little trash. You're trash. From a poor country. I can't do my feet because i send money that I make to your poor country". I could not hold my laugh. Putting all bad hygiene on Haiti. I told her that she is stupid, which was the only name I called her and it wasn't a lie. I know I should not have stooped to her level but for a moment I had to say something. Although she "apologized" for misunderstanding "my looks" but she promised me that "she will deal with me and by the time she was done with me, I would regret it". She said "you think you're all that. You think you're cute, but you don't impress me , you little Haitian trash...." Her real problem was that I'm a Haitian with an office position and not under her, cleaning. The common thing on St. Thomas is that all Haitians are dumb, have no skills and dress funny. If you can wear something nice and can say two words in English, ALMOST everyone boldly tells you "You don't look Haitian". I have no problem with cleaning, because I clean my house regularly, but she could not be at peace with the thought that she would never be my manager. Not in this life.

When the "big manager" came, the one to whom I have been very loyal, he called us into a "meeting". Instead of addressing the behavior of the bully, he suggested that we both resign, should he ever have to mediate anything between us again. Let me be clear. This is the manager who hired me twice, who basically knows what I would and would not do at the job and this the same manager who basically knows that this person is a bully because I am not the first to be in an altercation with her. I might have been the only one who dared standing up to her. I was not asking for anyone to be fired. But suggesting that I quit because I am being harassed by another manager was an eye-opener.

After the "meeting", she went to her "pet" saying "Fu** all Haitians." She then turned and saw me by the cooler, and said "Fu** Haitians. I will make her suffer. I will make her suffer real bad". I had to go and get a police report and was ready to go further with it. On this small island, every threat is ought to be taken seriously because most of the time, they become reality. Although I was being bullied AT THE JOB, the manager suggested that whatever will go down, just don't involve the property. Otherwise, do whatever. I realized that day that I was so wrong for being so loyal to that boss. I was so wrong for being so dedicated. Always ready to stay overtime even if i had plans, always ready to pick him up if he has car trouble, always ready to use my own gas to do the company's business... Yet all he cared about was that the property he was managing. Not the welfare of the employee(s).

The next day, I asked him again "if i am being harassed by that employee, what do i do? Since I can't come to you unless I bring my resignation letter?" he once again said "the two of you need to work it out or else maybe you should find something else..." Which wasn't needed because everyone knew I was going to be laid off since 3-4 months ago. Someone cared to tell them. Someone with the power to hire and fire but never bothered to tell me. But I knew. Things are not so secret at that "secret place". Although he didn't confirm it to me, I was emotionally prepared for the news.

On June 30th, it happened. At 4:30 or so, he went to the meeting room and called me and the other manager and gave me the news. "Your position is being eliminated because of economic reasons. After doing a thorough business review, we decide to restructure and regretfully it affects your position. So today was your last day. You will be compensated blablabla" All I said was "Ok. Thank you." And I left to gather my things, which were not much. I never have much in any desk or office I've had so far... I was sad that I left that toxic place. I was surprisingly calm and even relieved. It wasn't a shock, but I was disappointed to see that he surprised me like this. He could have warned me weeks ago. You know, something like "You know things are not good right now. So, don't be shocked if you get this news soon..." Not that he had to but...

I am still debating with myself: Should I send a "Thank you" email to him anyway for the opportunity? I definitely learned valuable lessons from that experience: Trust no one. Be loyal to no one but God. Chacun pour soi, Dieu pour tous! (Every man for himself, and God for us all.)