It's been such a long time since I've written something on here! Well I never consider myself a blogger.
There are some things that have been on my mind lately. Not that they bother me, but my inquiring mind wants to know....
Why do some people waste so much energy to be negative? Why do some people spend time out of their day to plot against someone else who does them no wrong? The way I see it, if someone takes so much time out their day and/or night to think about me, even to do me something they think would hurt me, most of the time, it actually boosts my ego. I must be really important. Otherwise, why in Heaven's name would you be obsessed with me?
Have you ever come across someone who tries so hard to "diss" you? They would try everything to belittle you, to make you feel less than a person, but at the end, they end up looking small? What kind of motivation is that? Sometimes, I think if only they would put that motivation into something positive, they would actually better themselves. My view on this is that if you have to try so hard to make me feel small, something must be wrong with you and your self-esteem; you need to work on yourself. Your "issues" are bigger than me and I have no time to waste feuding with someone, when I have no clue what the feud is about. This is high school stuff.
I just wish people would grow up and be adults. When I look at those so-called "adults" today, knowing they are raising kids to be adults tomorrow, it's kind of sad. And we are asking why is the youth so messed up, full of rage and anger? The adults raising them are messed up themselves! Full of hate, envy, misguided anger and rage! What do you think the results would be?
St. Thomas, USVI.... Taken by me
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Stop Putting Other people On A Pedestal!
Appreciating or even admiring someone or the person's talent, gifts or attributes is very different from putting him/her on a pedestal. Putting people on a pedestal is actually placing them above you, which obviously put you beneath them; and that higher spot should only be reserved for God and God ONLY.
The problem is that your relationship with the person you place on that pedestal will fail because you forget that he/she is human and will/can make mistakes. When you leave people no room to breathe and be themselves by forcing them to be perfect around you, when they do something that you didn't expect or make a mistake, you will be shocked, deceived and have all kind of bad feelings because you THOUGHT they were "perfect". Truth is, no one is perfect!
What happens when you put people so higher up and think they are better than you? They can only look down on you. Do you really want that? How about you look at the as your equal and just be respectful? That would work much better. Don't get me wrong. Some people ARE better than you in SOME ASPECTS of their lives: money, fame, rich/famous family, successful careers etc... But they also have flaws, problems and even personality issues that you don't know about. Putting people on pedestals make you miss the chance to know the real person because they are always putting a front just for you.
There are those who actually love to be placed on a pedestal. They enjoy all the glory, all the praise and to be seen as perfect just because it all boosts their big ego. Let me clarify that having a high level of self-esteem is very different from having a big ego or being egotistical. **An egotistical person only feels worthy when they compare themselves to others, get praised by others and/or put others down, so they can look big etc... external factors. Someone with high level of/self-esteem get self-worth from self-confidence, attitude etc... internal factors.**
Don't be afraid to be yourself and love yourself a little more. No one is above you for whatever reason you may think. You are as good as anybody else. Just believe in yourself a little bit more and just BE YOURSELF around whoever it is and you'll do fine. You will also give them a chance to show their true self to you. After all, isn't that what you want in a new friend/relationship?
And if you around those who actually demand you to praise them and WANT to be on a pedestal to look down on you, maybe you should rethink that relationship or simply deny them that satisfaction.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Why Do I Feel Like I Don't Belong?
My young friend Bee, who considers me her big sister called me to ask me "why do I feel like I don't belong anywhere? Sometimes I feel like an outcast. I feel like an outsider in the groups I try to be. Is something wrong with me? Am I not good enough? Etc.. "
I know exactly what she is talking about. I felt like that when I was her age, maybe not for the same reasons but I know the feeling. As a matter of fact every now and then, I have that feeling around certain people, especially SOME Haitians - In real life or virtually. Some make it their business to make you feel that way, but sometimes I think about it, I don't think they do it purposely or realize that they do it. It's just in their DNA. Sometimes, it's just my own emotions or my mind playing tricks on me. But I usually snap out of it pretty quickly. I don't sit and beat myself up just because someone makes me feel like I don't fit in or because I THINK that I don't. It wasn't the case when I was younger, but now, I'm perfectly fine with who I am, where I come from, who my parents are etc... I went through what most young people go through, especially in a country based on "classes" and where you are constantly reminded of which one you belong to.
Unlike my young friend Bee, I NEVER felt like I wasn't good enough, but I did feel like I didn't fit in in my early years, both in College St. Pierre and Eglise Baptiste des Cités. But as I matured, I learned to master the feeling. I became comfortable in my own skin and who I am. But not everyone can deal with it like I do, especially Bee, at her age. At least not alone yet.
Bee is a very beautiful girl, but like me at her age, she thinks she is the ugliest girl and that no boys would like her; and just like me, she could not be more wrong. What I told Bee is that she is unique. There is only one Bee. There will never be two. Therefore, it's time for her to start embracing who she is and "love the skin she's in"; and most importantly, make sure she is THE BEST at whatever she does. Don't ever let those negative thoughts make you start limiting yourself by making you think that you belong to a specific group, place or by yourself. Don't let past experiences where others made you feel like that by things they've said or done keep you back or make you angry all the time. What you put out is what you will get back from others. So, be happy. Make others feel comfortable to be around you.
One thing I know for sure is that you don't want to change who you are or pretend to be someone else just to fit in or to be someone's friend. You certainly don't want to lose yourself. Staying authentic and true to who you are is what will make you attractive to others; and because of our uniqueness, we can learn from each other. If we all start being the same, then we become lame. If someone can't like you for you, then don't waste your time being around that person. Keep it moving.
Something else Bee needed to know was don't ever assume that you don't belong before you even spend time with the person or the group. Don't start out by thinking "people like them will never like me" or "people like them don't care about people like me". Don't start out by expecting the worse from others. Don't let beliefs that were implanted in you or what you've heard about a particular person or group of people determine whether you'll belong in their circle or not, without even giving them a chance. You are restricting yourself and are not being fair to them. Even if you actually tried and one or two persons in the group mistreated you, don't assume that the whole group of people is the same. The bigotry of one or two individuals can not and should not determine the personality of an entire group of people.
Personally, I was never really part of a particular group, gang, or click of friends. Except almost at the end of High School. Even then, very few in the group were considered my friends. I was the one who was friendly with all but friends with few. Very few. The way I see it is: I belong where I say I belong. Nobody will make me feel inferior unless I let them. I give people a chance to know me and accept me for who I am and I do the same for them. If it doesn't work, I move on. At least I tried. I don't mind being alone and hang out with myself either. I don't HAVE to belong to a group or depend on anyone else to be happy or comfortable with myself. I make friends with myself.
Remember: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt.
Don't be afraid of who you are and your past experiences because “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“Don't let anyone tell you that you have to be a certain way. Be unique. Be what you feel.” Melissa Etheridge
Embrace and celebrate who you are! And remember "You were born an original. Don't die a copy" John Mason.
Monday, January 3, 2011
The World Doesn’t Revolve Around You
Some people really believe that the world revolves around them and I am not one hundred percent sure why. Maybe it boosts their ego? Maybe it feels good for them to feel important? more important than they really are… Who knows?
Case 1: The High School Attention-Wore Who Never Grew Up
We all had that friend in high school who thought she was it! Or maybe you were that friend. You know, that friend who thought that she was the head bitch in charge, who loved to be praised, and received compliments all day and when she didn’t get it, she asked for it? That friend who loved to compare herself with others to boost her ego on vain things? I knew one of those in high school. As a matter of fact, I should just call her a classmate. She was never really my friend. We maybe were cool during a period of time but it didn’t last long. She was what we call an attention-whore. If she thought she was looking good on a Monday, we were in trouble. She would walk around the classroom, she would speak the loudest . She was a bully too….Well, that was the past. So I thought.
Almost a decade later, she has not changed much. Many of us have reconnected through Facebook over the past years. Since we were cool, as soon as we became “Facebook Friends”, I sent her an email asking her about how she was doing etc… You know, just to update each other on our lives. But I got no response. Yet, she was online everyday. I tried to chat, same thing. So, I decided to send a second email asking her why she has not responded. She replied “I don’t have time for little drama. I am a very busy person. I didn’t even see your email…” blablabla. On the cahts? “She never saw it, etc…” Something about her computer. I still rose above her drama or should I say ignorance and continued to be civil with her. After all, I knew that that was very typical of her and she was just trying to boost her ego by making herself sound very busy and important.
As months go by, I commented on her photos that she posted about different moments of her life, but I realized that she replied to many but rarely (if ever) my comments and some others who went to school with us; I guess she chose a different crowd because she was always that person who would go as low as she can if she thinks someone is from a certain class, live in a certain area, has a certain name or connection…. She has not changed one bit. I decided to keep her on my list, but ignored her. I stopped boosting her ego: no commenting on her pictures, no sending her messages asking her how she is doing… Nada.
Weeks ago, we commented on different common friends’ posts. I decided to not acknowledge her. She posts pictures about other big moments of her life, I ignored her while other common friends were all over them. Truthfully, I forgot that she even existed, until I see her updates or somehow is brought to my attention.
Suddenly, about two weeks ago, we both commented on something and minutes later, she posted something about removing people from her page because “they only come to look at her business *what business?) but don’t really care about her. If you are a real friend, you have to care. You have to want to know how your friend is doing blablabla…” Something along those lines. She made sure to post on something I posted so I can notice that she removed me.
I really didn't care that she did. As a matter of fact, I was glad because my plan was to detox that page and my life of dead weights and folks I call “friends” who are as fake as Pamela Anderson’s boobs. She was going to be one of those fake people.
She was upset because I was no longer boosting her ego and was complimenting other common friends that we have and it didn’t sit well with her. Another thing, since I was always the one asking how she is doing and her mom etc… What about she asking how I was doing? I went through some times too and it would have felt great to know that she wanted to know how I’m doing. Friendship is a two-way street.
All of this is to say that some folks don’t realize that others have their lives to live too and that the world does not revolve around them. People have other things to worry about, such as: work, home, family, the economy etc…In your own little cloud, you may believe you are the most important thing, but don’t try to put that on others and trying to become their occupation, because seriously there are other important things that are going on, while you’re sitting and demanding everyone else’s attention.
And like someone else said, “emotions are contagious”. If you have that negative vibe coming from you, that’s what you will get from others. If you don’t care, then others won’t care either. It’s just the way it is.
“When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.” Bernard Bailey
And since some folks are all mixed up about how to be a friend, it’s very simple: "The only way to have a friend is to be one." Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Case #2 coming soon
Case 1: The High School Attention-Wore Who Never Grew Up
We all had that friend in high school who thought she was it! Or maybe you were that friend. You know, that friend who thought that she was the head bitch in charge, who loved to be praised, and received compliments all day and when she didn’t get it, she asked for it? That friend who loved to compare herself with others to boost her ego on vain things? I knew one of those in high school. As a matter of fact, I should just call her a classmate. She was never really my friend. We maybe were cool during a period of time but it didn’t last long. She was what we call an attention-whore. If she thought she was looking good on a Monday, we were in trouble. She would walk around the classroom, she would speak the loudest . She was a bully too….Well, that was the past. So I thought.
Almost a decade later, she has not changed much. Many of us have reconnected through Facebook over the past years. Since we were cool, as soon as we became “Facebook Friends”, I sent her an email asking her about how she was doing etc… You know, just to update each other on our lives. But I got no response. Yet, she was online everyday. I tried to chat, same thing. So, I decided to send a second email asking her why she has not responded. She replied “I don’t have time for little drama. I am a very busy person. I didn’t even see your email…” blablabla. On the cahts? “She never saw it, etc…” Something about her computer. I still rose above her drama or should I say ignorance and continued to be civil with her. After all, I knew that that was very typical of her and she was just trying to boost her ego by making herself sound very busy and important.
As months go by, I commented on her photos that she posted about different moments of her life, but I realized that she replied to many but rarely (if ever) my comments and some others who went to school with us; I guess she chose a different crowd because she was always that person who would go as low as she can if she thinks someone is from a certain class, live in a certain area, has a certain name or connection…. She has not changed one bit. I decided to keep her on my list, but ignored her. I stopped boosting her ego: no commenting on her pictures, no sending her messages asking her how she is doing… Nada.
Weeks ago, we commented on different common friends’ posts. I decided to not acknowledge her. She posts pictures about other big moments of her life, I ignored her while other common friends were all over them. Truthfully, I forgot that she even existed, until I see her updates or somehow is brought to my attention.
Suddenly, about two weeks ago, we both commented on something and minutes later, she posted something about removing people from her page because “they only come to look at her business *what business?) but don’t really care about her. If you are a real friend, you have to care. You have to want to know how your friend is doing blablabla…” Something along those lines. She made sure to post on something I posted so I can notice that she removed me.
I really didn't care that she did. As a matter of fact, I was glad because my plan was to detox that page and my life of dead weights and folks I call “friends” who are as fake as Pamela Anderson’s boobs. She was going to be one of those fake people.
She was upset because I was no longer boosting her ego and was complimenting other common friends that we have and it didn’t sit well with her. Another thing, since I was always the one asking how she is doing and her mom etc… What about she asking how I was doing? I went through some times too and it would have felt great to know that she wanted to know how I’m doing. Friendship is a two-way street.
All of this is to say that some folks don’t realize that others have their lives to live too and that the world does not revolve around them. People have other things to worry about, such as: work, home, family, the economy etc…In your own little cloud, you may believe you are the most important thing, but don’t try to put that on others and trying to become their occupation, because seriously there are other important things that are going on, while you’re sitting and demanding everyone else’s attention.
And like someone else said, “emotions are contagious”. If you have that negative vibe coming from you, that’s what you will get from others. If you don’t care, then others won’t care either. It’s just the way it is.
“When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.” Bernard Bailey
And since some folks are all mixed up about how to be a friend, it’s very simple: "The only way to have a friend is to be one." Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Case #2 coming soon
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Paul Waggoner - UPDATE
On December 29, 2010, about two weeks after his incarceration, Paul was released from the National Penitentiary. I am so happy that this whole ordeal is over for many reasons: 1) LP is FREE 2) I don't have to endure the comments and the fakeness of some people. What admire about LP is, despite all he went through, he gave his first interview and did not bash anyone like some others would have done. This is what makes LP LP. He is different. I was happy to see how calm and collected he was. He even grew a beard and looks like he somehow managed to put on some weight or maybe it's the TV...
This person has been saying that "the Pauls need to leave Haiti ASAP because there are other places that need them, that would protect them and wouldn't treat them that way..." Fact of the matter is, this can happen anywhere to anyone. I have no doubt that there are other places that need them and wouldn't treat them like they were treated in that "shithole", as some people call Haiti when they are anonymously commenting on blogs (I have a feeling when not anonymous, they profess their "love" for it...). I hope, no matter where they choose next, none of the Pauls or anyone genuine, with good intentions and who REALLY helps would have to go through this again.
I want to thank LP & BP ~ Big Paul AKA Paul Sebring for all they've done in/for Haiti. It was a rough ride but I hope they at least have one good memory of the place. Hopefully, someday, they would be able to go back and visit a better Haiti that they have contributed to. I am not seeing a better Haiti anytime soon, but you never know. After all, miracles do happen.
This person has been saying that "the Pauls need to leave Haiti ASAP because there are other places that need them, that would protect them and wouldn't treat them that way..." Fact of the matter is, this can happen anywhere to anyone. I have no doubt that there are other places that need them and wouldn't treat them like they were treated in that "shithole", as some people call Haiti when they are anonymously commenting on blogs (I have a feeling when not anonymous, they profess their "love" for it...). I hope, no matter where they choose next, none of the Pauls or anyone genuine, with good intentions and who REALLY helps would have to go through this again.
I want to thank LP & BP ~ Big Paul AKA Paul Sebring for all they've done in/for Haiti. It was a rough ride but I hope they at least have one good memory of the place. Hopefully, someday, they would be able to go back and visit a better Haiti that they have contributed to. I am not seeing a better Haiti anytime soon, but you never know. After all, miracles do happen.
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. Martin Luther King Jr
Friday, December 17, 2010
Free Paul Waggoner!
While volunteering in Haiti back in February 2010, I met Little Paul (Paul Waggoner). As soon as our group got inside the hospital, he introduced himself and I liked him right away. I usually don't "click" with people like that. It takes me time. But Little Paul was different. That same night, we sat at the balcony, joked, he let me use his laptop, we added each other on Facebook etc... I still didn't know all the names of those I went with. I still don't. Maybe two...
Little Paul was simply special. He worked HARD, lived in a tent on the roof of the hospital with all of his possession in his backpack. LP came to Haiti on his own after the earthquake simply because he wanted to help. He didn't want to sit around and wait for organizations to call him up. Although LP has NEVER been to Haiti before that, he found his way there and never really left, except for one or two week.
I found LP in Haiti, I left him there and he had no intentions to leave. LP and I never lost touch. If he doesn't hear from me, he sends a message on Facebook or I call him. As a matter of fact, LP recently met my dad who still lives in Haiti and has a small orphanage there. My dad also liked him instantly, not because he was a "Blan", because my dad worked with missionaries all his life, travels in many states with some. So, "Blans" don't surprise him or get him excited like that. After meeting LP, he told me "he is such a "cool" guy! He cares for people and don't act like some of them do". After that meeting, They talked on the phone again, and the last conversation between them, Paul was going to get him some books for the kids. But he didn't get to do it because he is now in jail, falsely accused of a bogus, ridiculous crime that he did NOT commit!
LP is charged with kidnapping of a dead child! Back in February LP assisted a father who brought an almost dead child to the hospital, Paul helped him. The kid got to the doctor and died. See the whole story here: http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/12/17/haiti.american.jailed/index.html?hpt=T.2 . LP did NOT take this kid, had nothing to do with anything beside helping the dad.
As a Haitian, who met LP, who knows LP and still keep in touch with him, I am outraged by this case! This is pure BS and people trying to make money on someone who was really helping those in need, unlike some others! LP rescued children from very bad situations, who had no one, no name, no one would know they are missing, but he didn't take them. He helped them! Along with Big Paul, his friend and co-founder of their organization, which they founded recently, he has been doing a great job in Haiti (believe me if I say so!) I usually don't endorse organizations, but "The Pauls" were the only ones I tweeted, facebooked about, asking people to donate and support their great work in Haiti. They never asked me to do a thing. I took it upon myself to do so. I stopped tweeting about them after their organization became structured and had its own twitter page. I still endorse their organization, MMRC Global, as one of my favorites that does not waste money on "administrative fees", but despite their great work, they are greatly underfunded.
As a Haitian, I am disgusted with what they are accusing LP of and to see how someone can blatantly lie on someone else like that when he knows that he is innocent! Unless this man is absolutely crazy, clinically insane, it's sick that he is trying to accuse an innocent or trying to get money off of his dead son! I wanted to write this to tell all that LP is an innocent man sitting at the disgusting Penitentiary in Port-au-Prince, for no reason and needs to be released! LP is one man who filled rooms with food for hungry orphans, helped pregnant women, got blood for critically ill people; he personally helped a raped victim for me and my list can go one... LP is an innocent man.
While sitting on the roof of the hospital, together, Paul once told me "I am not a saint. I have a past. But THIS is what I want to do. I finally know what I was born to do. I enjoy doing this! I'm not sure when I'll leave here." I responded to him "You'll become one of those "Blan Haitians" I will come to your house next time I come to Haiti." Paul's past is not a "revelation" to me. He beat up a pedophile and deserves a prize for it. Not a record (but that's just my opinion). We spoke last week, and he was inviting ME to Haiti for Christmas "You have to come, Charnie. It will be fun!' I couldn't stop laughing, thinking "He did become a Blan Haitian!" I am disgusted that someone can be so sick to frame him like this!
During this ordeal, last time I exchanged emails with Paul while he was incarcerated in a jail before his hearing, I told him "I hope you'll leave when you get out (not adding the "At least for a moment")", LP's response to me was "I don't want to leave. I have 100 kids that depend on me and what we do for them. I won't be another wolf ticket to them".
Whatever LP did in his past, when I met him, he was a changed man. A man with a big heart! He protected me like he was paid to do it! He passed on going out with his friends one night to stay with me because he didn't trust some guy who was saying certain things to/about me. He sincerely told me that his reaction would be BAD if he came back and found out that he has even touched me (since I was the only one in my group left behind that night)! This is LP. He loves to protect people, especially children and women.
I'm praying for his safe and early release. LP already knows that I have a lot of love for him! Can't wait to hear his voice again as a free man!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Shame on Samaritan's Purse!
About ten months ago, Samaritan's Purse tweeted a job opening in Haiti. I immediately showed interest in the job because I have a cousin who matched the qualification requirements perfectly. It was about two months after the earthquake and a job was number one priority for everyone. As soon as I tweeted Samaritan's Purse about the job, they followed me and sent me a direct message, telling me what to do. I did everything they asked for, I even had him get the letter from the pastor of his church to show his involvement, as part of his "qualifications", which I found outrageous! I spoke and exchanged emails with Amy G. of HR who assured me that he is under "serious" consideration for the job and that we will get a request for an interview soon.
A month later, when I still did not receive the call, I DM'd Samaritan's Purse on Twitter, no response. I emailed that Amy G. of the HR department, no response. I called and left a message, never got a call back. I believed them when they told me that my cousin would at least get an interview. Maybe because they are "Christians" and somewhere in me, I believed that they would not blatantly lie like that. But when I tweeted about my experience, I found at least two other victims of Samaritan's Purse: just like my cousin, they were very qualified candidates who were promised interviews but never got the call. Haitians don't usually get jobs they are qualified for at some of those organizations, unless of course you know someone who knows someone... But if you want a driver, cleaner, run-errands job, they'll certainly hire you, despite having degrees that make you qualified for other positions.
Nonetheless, I never actually named Samaritan's Purse publicly as the organization who put us through this whole ordeal; but after seeing that they are bringing Sarah Palin to Haiti for a photo-op, I could no longer help myself. It's so despicable to see how so-called Christians and Christian organizations use the poor for their own gain. I grew up seeing "Missionaries" up close and very personal. While there were some who really cared and wanted to help, I met some who were all about their bank accounts, take pictures of poor children and use them in churches around the U.S. to collect money. I met some who were racists and thought Haitians didn't deserve the best. My father worked for more than one of these "Christian organizations" and many times he had to put his foot down to get paid to pay my school tuition because "the boss" didn't find it necessary that he is spending so much money on school for me, "it's not worth it" he said. But I'm sure his kids got proper education here, in the U.S. and he never thought it was not worth it.
Seeing how Samaritan's Purse is unscrupulously using the poor and Haiti to boost Sara Palin's image for political gains is sickening. I'm sure pictures of her holding a black baby, smiling or distributing gifts to "the poor Haitian people" will be all over her website as part of her "foreign and international" experience, besides being able to see Russia from her house. Shame on Franklin Graham for using Haiti like this for his personal gains. I am simply disgusted, especially when these people call themselves Christians.
Is Sarah Palin on a "humanitarian mission" or a "campaign mission"? Where has she been since January 12th? Why haven't we heard Mrs. Palin at least mentioned Haiti in a speech or even a tweet or a Fcabook post? Why this sudden interest?
Below is one of the first pictures tweeted by her entourage.
Shame on Christians like Franklin Graham who use Haiti like this. It's sickening and reprehensible how people constantly use the poor. No wonder they try their best to keep Haiti where it is by refusing to hire Haitians or pay them a decent salary. They only focus on handouts and offering them Jesus in exchange of a plate of food "if you join my religion, I'll help you". I wonder... WWJD?
A month later, when I still did not receive the call, I DM'd Samaritan's Purse on Twitter, no response. I emailed that Amy G. of the HR department, no response. I called and left a message, never got a call back. I believed them when they told me that my cousin would at least get an interview. Maybe because they are "Christians" and somewhere in me, I believed that they would not blatantly lie like that. But when I tweeted about my experience, I found at least two other victims of Samaritan's Purse: just like my cousin, they were very qualified candidates who were promised interviews but never got the call. Haitians don't usually get jobs they are qualified for at some of those organizations, unless of course you know someone who knows someone... But if you want a driver, cleaner, run-errands job, they'll certainly hire you, despite having degrees that make you qualified for other positions.
Nonetheless, I never actually named Samaritan's Purse publicly as the organization who put us through this whole ordeal; but after seeing that they are bringing Sarah Palin to Haiti for a photo-op, I could no longer help myself. It's so despicable to see how so-called Christians and Christian organizations use the poor for their own gain. I grew up seeing "Missionaries" up close and very personal. While there were some who really cared and wanted to help, I met some who were all about their bank accounts, take pictures of poor children and use them in churches around the U.S. to collect money. I met some who were racists and thought Haitians didn't deserve the best. My father worked for more than one of these "Christian organizations" and many times he had to put his foot down to get paid to pay my school tuition because "the boss" didn't find it necessary that he is spending so much money on school for me, "it's not worth it" he said. But I'm sure his kids got proper education here, in the U.S. and he never thought it was not worth it.
Seeing how Samaritan's Purse is unscrupulously using the poor and Haiti to boost Sara Palin's image for political gains is sickening. I'm sure pictures of her holding a black baby, smiling or distributing gifts to "the poor Haitian people" will be all over her website as part of her "foreign and international" experience, besides being able to see Russia from her house. Shame on Franklin Graham for using Haiti like this for his personal gains. I am simply disgusted, especially when these people call themselves Christians.
Is Sarah Palin on a "humanitarian mission" or a "campaign mission"? Where has she been since January 12th? Why haven't we heard Mrs. Palin at least mentioned Haiti in a speech or even a tweet or a Fcabook post? Why this sudden interest?
Below is one of the first pictures tweeted by her entourage.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Adversities Can Make You Stronger If You Use Them As Motivation...
On October 18th, I celebrate my birthday. I don't know where the years have gone but I can tell you that I am much closer to the big 30 than ever and life is getting better and better by the day!
So far I have not done much compare to other successful people my age, but I think I've done well for someone who came to the United States alone at twenty years old. I had a rough start in the United States. And I mean rough! I came from rarely spending a night outside of parents' home (except during summer time. I was always by my Grandparents, most of the time with mom or dad anyway) to moving in with a family member, related to me on both sides (my mom and dad side), where I ended up paying for a family feud that existed before I was even born. One man fathers kids with two aunts, one on each side (mom & dad); although I love both aunts very dearly, I am closer to one for many reasons: I spent ALL my summers with her; she visited us often and was the one taking care of mom when she was in her darkest moments. Unfortunately I ended up on he other side and I was caught in the middle of a nasty family feud that had nothing to do with me; I was forced to choose sides, refused and it ended up UGLY! I paid a HIGH price emotionally! (More details in my book. Coming out someday when I write it or if anyone is interested in reading it).
Long story short, my problems didn't stop there. I moved around on an island where I knew no one, but I had those angels who were placed right on my path, right when I needed them. I couldn't believe that someone had the nerve to do what she did to me. But looking back today, what she did motivated me to do better and better everyday, despite coming here with a clear vision and goals. I cried about it. I cried about being betrayed by own blood but I moved on.
I moved around some more, got myself into a little bit more trouble but worked my way up to where I am today. I NEVER did anything that I won't be proud to tell anyone about. Although I chose not to move closer to uncle, auntie and cousins in NY, they supported me in their own ways. I also have awesome family members! But before I reached where I am today, I worked in a Deli making Sandwiches and cashiering. This job was mostly important because I needed to learn the difference between a nickel and a dime and gain some experience in something in order to get anywhere. Then, I worked at Walgreens as a cashier and from there I went up.
Before Walgreens, I remember my struggle with my Godmother who wanted me to work at a fast food restaurant doing "whatever" because I was a "Just Come". I told her "No. I have potential. I came here speaking English, I am going to look for other things that I think are more appropriate with what I will want to do. Restaurants, cooking, cleaning etc... are REALLY not my things. I am not Chef potential. (I also had my work permit by that time too!)..." That's when the fights started! "When you all come from haiti like that with a little diploma, thinking you all that etc..." she said. I never knew she was so close-minded and backward. I never said these jobs were "low" as she put it. They were just not my field. I had a plans. I started INUQUA and BIWI in Haiti and I intended to achieve what I started. When she realized that I didn't need her to take care of things like a baby, (and I wasn'tt a fan of her idol, Aristide and couldn't stand listening to Piman Bouk all day talking BS on the radio like she did), things got worst... All for the better! I laughed at it then, I still laugh at it now!
All of these events happened so fast! Before I knew it, I was in College! Yes, I put myself to College as a full time student while working full time. I ended opting for Online classes and I don't regret it. If I have to do it all over again, I will. It was just a perfect fit and just what I needed! I earned a BA in Business Administration with a Minor in Accounting/Finance at American InterContinental University (AIU) and proudly graduated in 2009. One of my proudest moments! I can't wait to go for a Master's Degree, but I am taking my time. I have to choose wisely.
Although, more adversities came later, but nothing close to what I went through before. One day I will share my experience with other people, such as my "sister in law", a Jersey girl! or Maybe I'll talk about that in that book that I dream of writing someday. Will anyone be interested in reading it? TBD!
I am in a good place in my life right now. And I am getting better by the day! No lie! What would I be without all of these adversities? I probably would have gotten so comfortable in my cousin's or godmother's house that I probably would never try to move out. I probably would never put myself to College. Yes, Ms. Sallie Mae is harassing me now, but it's all worth it! And if I, a foreigner can do it, you can too! Don't let your troubles keep you down or behind. Use them as motivation and you'll see how fast things will get moving forward!
"Obstacles can't stop you. Problems can't stop you. Most of all other people can't stop you. Only you can stop you". Jeffrey Gitomer
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Shut Up! Take Your Compliment And Shove it!
An hour ago, I was at a convenience store getting couple of items, while I was inside, my phone rang and I started speaking in Creole with a friend I haven't heard in a while. As I was speaking, this man who was standing behind the counter was staring at me. As I was speaking on the phone, he was trying to get my attention by asking me SLOWLY "Miss, h.o.w. d.o. y.o.u. s.a.y. I. l.o.v.e. y.o.u.", of course I ignored him, since I was still on the phone. He asked again. "Why do you want to know", I asked. "Well, I wanted to tell you I love you". He proceeded to say "Buh, Miss! How come you smart! You coulda fool me",
"Excuse me, what do you mean?"
"Well, in farty years (he means forty), first time I meet a smat (smart) hation (Haitian)"
"Go s...", I wanted to tell him to go suck a nut, but I retain myself.
"Maybe you should get out more, get off island a little bit. See the world before making your conclusions. As far as I know, Haitians are some of the most intelligent people on this earth. Because some just arrive here and don't speak your language yet, doesn't mean Haitians are stupid."
"Well, miss, I been arong de worl (around the world), I was in de aaamy (army), I been to Santo Domingo..."
"Santo Domingo is not Haiti. Anyway..." and I went about my business. The store owner told me "tell him again. Ignorant people like him need to know". But I didn't think it was necessary to continue because I was losing my cool.
These kind of comments are so common on St Thomas and the thing is, they expect you, the Haitian to say "Thank you". No. you're being disrespectful with your backhanded compliments! When will people realize that these kind of comments are not OK? Just because you make that one exception doesn't mean I will agree with you that all other Haitians, except me, are stupid! this is pure ignorance! I do regret not telling him something REALLY bad but at the same time, I am proud of myself for having self-control.
I should be used to these comments by now, I have been getting them since I moved here over four years ago. When I started dating the person I am still with right now, some family members had an issue with the fact that I was Haitian. When they learn to know me, one of them still had issues with Haitians "except me". She would introduce me to people and add "She is Haitian BUT she is smart. Yeah, very smart girl" but then she would ask me things like "How come ahyou Haitians so dark, mehson!" Or "Why dem people so stchupid! They can't even fill out a western union form and their names so hard to say and dey so retarted dey wouldn't wait for it. Then, I have to be calling stchupid names..." Right in my face. Me, the Haitian.
Then, there was the suspicion that I was with him for a green card! When they learned I had a green card before I even moved here, his cousin boldly asked me to show it to him Of course I asked him to get the *** out of my face, but how disrespectful is that?! And these are black, island people who are always ready to cry RACISM for any little thing or even a look from a white person.
I won't even go over everything I have heard from co-workers and other random ignorant people on the streets of St. Thomas. That same "in-law" person once said "there are no light-skinned Haitians". One day I was watching videos of T-Vice, CaRiMi, she swore I was lying about them being Haitians... One co-worker once told me "you're the first pretty Haitian I've met. I thought all Haitians were ugly". I again told him to get out more because "I'm far from being the prettiest Haitian out there" (really)! When my reaction was the total opposite of what he expected, he was puzzled. Seriously, when you have those kind of retarded, ignorant comments, keep them to yourself. Any Haitian in his/her right mind will NOT say thank you to your "compliment".
So far the worst behaviors and comments I have gotten have been from Black, Caribbean people. I have worked with people who automatically assumed I didn't know anything, that I was stupid etc... Coworkers got very hostile toward me because I'm Haitian and I was getting higher salary then them. Some said it in my face, especially at that clinic where I was employed for almost a year in the administrative department. I had to work extra hard to prove myself. I was attacked, I was promised "a good beating" by immature pricks, all for no reason! I was only guilty of being Haitian and getting a higher salary, which I deserved!
Needless to say that Haitians who can't speak English and defend themselves like I can go through hell everyday at work. People who look like them but just happen to be more fortunate and speak another language put them through hell and do them some injustice.
I am so tired of this crap! The same way you feel when you think you are a victim of racism, is the same way I feel when you discriminate against Haitians. You all need to stop it and stop it now! It's not pretty to be ignorant!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Why Does No One Cares To Protect Them?
How do you feel watching this video? The U.N men walking around with huge guns but never care to go to camps and other areas where they are needed to protect these defenseless women and children, why? Why does this young girl have to be in the streets getting raped? This is outrageous! If the U.N.is not there to protect the people, who/what are they protecting? Why are they there?
Friday, September 17, 2010
Where Are The Jobs?
I have not posted anything on this blog for the simple fact that I was hoping to have something different, something cheery to post about. But I searched, I looked and found nothing. So, I guess I will blog what's on my mind.
We all know that it's been height months since the January 12 earthquake and nothing - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - has changed. People are still under sheets and tarps; millions in donations, the rubble is not cleared, the reconstruction has not yet started; many fancy meetings later between the "big people" who own the country, nothing concrete yet. I am a hundred percent positive that ten years later, we'll still be talking about the same things. I have no doubts.
The thing that has been bugging me for a while now is the job situation in Haiti. One would think that right now there would be no shortage of jobs for not only qualified Haitian professionals, but any Haitian willing and able to work in Haiti with all of these projects, work waiting to be done... But reality is, young people are applying for jobs but they are not getting hired. Despite presenting all the letters, resumés, qualifications, not even interview! This is so discouraging and infuriating! Especially when some of them are posting links on social media about how they have job openings and looking for applicants, but in reality, it's not true. They are not hiring. They simply have to go through the procedure of posting them.
I personally contacted an organization about a job posting they tweeted months ago. First, I called and spoke with a lady in the HR department. She asked me to email her my cousin's resume, who is very qualified for the job and has the experience required. I immediately called him and he emailed his resume, diplomas, letters and filled out the application online. The lady emailed me saying that she was very pleased with what she saw so far, and will give his application "special consideration" but first he had to show that he is a Christian and is involved in his church by providing a letter from his pastor, since the organization is a Christian organization and one of the requirements was that the applicant must be able to "spread the good news of God" as part of his work. My cousin who happens to be very involved in his church immediately got the letter and waited for the interview. He waited, and waited... We were so confident that he would at least get the interview that was promised to him. But it never happened! I tweeted them, I sent messages... At first, during a phone call, she said "don't worry, we will be calling applicants soon. He is THE FIRST applicant and meets all the requirements. He'll definitely get interviewed". I believed her. But when that email or phone call never came, I contacted her again via email, twitter, no answer. And then the organization simply unfollowed me on twitter and stopped answering any of my emails.
Months later, I checked their website, I saw new openings. I told two people that I know would meet the requirements, they applied but never even got a call. My cousin later got a job with MSF . Last time I spoke to him, he was still with them. I am not sure if he still has the job now, but really hope that he does.
All of this is to show that MANY organizations claiming that they are hiring but can't find qualified people in Haiti, are simply full of it. There is no reason for so many young men and women to be actively looking and applying for jobs but are not even given a chance of an interview. In the mean time, school is about to open in Haiti, everyone has someone who must go to school but has no resources, no money and so far, has no clue what to do or how it will happen. Most schools in Haiti are private, with exorbitant tuition fees and no regulations. They set their own prices when they want and however they want.
I am not going to blame the NGOs for not providing jobs because they are not there to fix anything; they would run out of business if they do. They are there to keep Haiti on foreign aid. This is why they exist; this is why they were created; this is how they make their money and receive praise and glory. I blame those useless leaders who are selling the country piece by piece to anyone with a green dollar. I blame the "President" for not setting any kind of rules on those organizations, demanding that they employ a number of Haitians in order to be established in Haiti. In the meantime, aid workers from some organizations are splurging money they receive to help the people on Dominican prostitutes in Petion Ville, new cars, fancy houses, restaurants, bars, while, just blocks away from them, the people they are supposed to be helping are dying for basic needs.
We all know that it's been height months since the January 12 earthquake and nothing - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - has changed. People are still under sheets and tarps; millions in donations, the rubble is not cleared, the reconstruction has not yet started; many fancy meetings later between the "big people" who own the country, nothing concrete yet. I am a hundred percent positive that ten years later, we'll still be talking about the same things. I have no doubts.
The thing that has been bugging me for a while now is the job situation in Haiti. One would think that right now there would be no shortage of jobs for not only qualified Haitian professionals, but any Haitian willing and able to work in Haiti with all of these projects, work waiting to be done... But reality is, young people are applying for jobs but they are not getting hired. Despite presenting all the letters, resumés, qualifications, not even interview! This is so discouraging and infuriating! Especially when some of them are posting links on social media about how they have job openings and looking for applicants, but in reality, it's not true. They are not hiring. They simply have to go through the procedure of posting them.
I personally contacted an organization about a job posting they tweeted months ago. First, I called and spoke with a lady in the HR department. She asked me to email her my cousin's resume, who is very qualified for the job and has the experience required. I immediately called him and he emailed his resume, diplomas, letters and filled out the application online. The lady emailed me saying that she was very pleased with what she saw so far, and will give his application "special consideration" but first he had to show that he is a Christian and is involved in his church by providing a letter from his pastor, since the organization is a Christian organization and one of the requirements was that the applicant must be able to "spread the good news of God" as part of his work. My cousin who happens to be very involved in his church immediately got the letter and waited for the interview. He waited, and waited... We were so confident that he would at least get the interview that was promised to him. But it never happened! I tweeted them, I sent messages... At first, during a phone call, she said "don't worry, we will be calling applicants soon. He is THE FIRST applicant and meets all the requirements. He'll definitely get interviewed". I believed her. But when that email or phone call never came, I contacted her again via email, twitter, no answer. And then the organization simply unfollowed me on twitter and stopped answering any of my emails.
Months later, I checked their website, I saw new openings. I told two people that I know would meet the requirements, they applied but never even got a call. My cousin later got a job with MSF . Last time I spoke to him, he was still with them. I am not sure if he still has the job now, but really hope that he does.
All of this is to show that MANY organizations claiming that they are hiring but can't find qualified people in Haiti, are simply full of it. There is no reason for so many young men and women to be actively looking and applying for jobs but are not even given a chance of an interview. In the mean time, school is about to open in Haiti, everyone has someone who must go to school but has no resources, no money and so far, has no clue what to do or how it will happen. Most schools in Haiti are private, with exorbitant tuition fees and no regulations. They set their own prices when they want and however they want.
I am not going to blame the NGOs for not providing jobs because they are not there to fix anything; they would run out of business if they do. They are there to keep Haiti on foreign aid. This is why they exist; this is why they were created; this is how they make their money and receive praise and glory. I blame those useless leaders who are selling the country piece by piece to anyone with a green dollar. I blame the "President" for not setting any kind of rules on those organizations, demanding that they employ a number of Haitians in order to be established in Haiti. In the meantime, aid workers from some organizations are splurging money they receive to help the people on Dominican prostitutes in Petion Ville, new cars, fancy houses, restaurants, bars, while, just blocks away from them, the people they are supposed to be helping are dying for basic needs.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Remembering my Summer... Part 1
As soon as school is out, we are all going to Plaisance! But first, mom had to go downtown to buy some "allonge" to get my hair braided for the entire 3 months. This hairdo usually takes all day or two days to be done! It use to be torture, but my short hair needed it so I could enjoy my vacation and so it could grow a little bit during the summer (Or so they used to tell me!).
My dad usually coordinated the trip. A truck full of people and usually a trip to remember! Guerda, Nounouche, Laurana, Ti Garry, Yves-Lyre, auntie Madan Oreste, mom, Magda and the list goes on! Our first stop was in Montrouis. We stopped to get Griyo, bannann Peze, lambi for the adults (I couldn't taste the lambi because my dad said it makes girls "hot"), dad got his usual Pwason Gwo Sèl... Montrouis was it! We then drove for hours. And I mean hours! We passed St. Marc, L'Esther, Gonaives but rarely stopped in any of these towns. We sang, we slept, we stopped for "bathroom" breaks or to stretch our legs. Not to forget a flat tire here and there. By the time we get to Morn Marmelade, our next stop, it was night time. Late night. But Lydia, this lady who lived there and sold food in a little shack, would always wake up just for us, if she was already in bed. By that time we were all tired and hungry again. Lydia would sell us some good food. Her goat meat was usually so good!
After eating, and doing other "business" at morn Marmelade, we headed down to Plaisance. Within an hour, we would reach Bourg Plaisance. That's the "town" but we had to keep driving inside, on some very very rocky roads. We had cross many "pass dlo", rivers before we get to Kafou Roger, where my uncle Tisson, who was a voodoo priest and a businessman and his family lived. We HAPPILY greeted them, got some groceries and drove about twenty more minutes to get to "Dlo de woch". Our driving stopped there because we had to walk to my grandmother's house. By that time, it would be late and peach dark! This is truly country. From 6PM, it's dark; there was absolutely no electricity in that area. The only light we could see were fireflies!
I would be so scared on that small little road that leaded to Grandma's. Not only it was dark, despite having multiple flashlights, we would fall. After it rained the width of the road would reduce to almost nothing. As a matter of fact, one time, Nano, my cousin's boyfriend and Ti Garry fell and roll down in the bushes. A tree stopped them from going inside the "Basin Figue", the only "basin" that no one swam in, except a Mambo (voodoo priestess) named Ti St. Anne when she has "Loa". Because the "loas" she served live in that basin. (RIP to nano, Nounouche, mycousin/his girlfriend and Ti garry, my cousin who I miss so much!)
When we finally reach Grandma's we would be exhausted but so happy! We would start talking with the "Plaisance" accent right away and asking for all kind of things in the middle of the night! At that time, there were no Digicel phone service, like they have now. So, unless we found someone days before we go to let them know we are coming, it would be a total surprise to them. Grandpa would get up to greet us with his huge smile. He was a smooth old guy, always with his cane and his hat. Auntie Yonne would go dig for some fresh yam off the ground, cut some bananas, and some good "Pwason chech" (Dried fishes) up in the "Galata" (attic) to cook for us. All of that done with a small lamp "Tèt gridap". While the food was being cooked, we went to clean up a little bit. To clean up we had to go down a rocky road closed to the house at a water stream. There was no fancy bathroom or anything. But that's what vacation was about! Showering in "basins", like "Basin Fafaron" (the basins were those fresh water pools, all natural, with water coming from a water fall, through the rocks or from nowhere), eating freash yams, bananas, catching crabs, fishes from the basins, playing at night with each other or simply sitting while grandpa told us stories in the dark. These were the best time of my childhood!
To be continued.....
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wyclef Jean: The Authentic Haitian
More than three hours after the famous list was made public by the CEP, I am still amazed about how much Mr. Wyclef Jean was able to make the entire world watch, write and follow the "election" process of Haiti! This is particularly amazing for me because until the earthquake of January 12th, many didn't know who was Haiti's President. As a matter of fact, I didn't know or hear anything when Preval, Haiti's current president was elected.
When the rumors started flying around about Wyclef's candidacy, I knew I would support him because I was one of those people who used to say "Wyclef for President" way before the earthquake even happened. Then all of these articles about money and Yéle started to surface. It would hurt to read them, because Wyclef is my joy, pride and role model. He is that guy who came from nothing to being Wyclef Jean that the entire world knows and talks about. Once I realized that the people who were the quickest to call him a thief were some who are also cashing in in the name of Haiti and "bigging" up themselves for "saving Haiti" without seeing any result; when I look at how Wyclef's NGO was the only one run by a Haitian getting donations and international media attention, that they believe should have gone to them; when I read his explanation, when I remember that he started Yéle with his OWN money, I forgave him, hoped nothing else surfaced and supported him 100%. I refuse to be one of those self-destructive Haitians who joined voices with others to swing mud at him. You may not support the man, but it made no sense to tarnish his reputation for every little petty things. He is not a saint. But he probably was the cleanest candidate on the list!
Wyclef didn't win tonight. But I believe history was made. I will be able to tell my children that in 2010, Wyclef Jean made the entire globe talk about Haiti's elections and shed light on how dirty and unfair the process is. He energized the youth in Haiti, had the diaspora fired up and ready to go vote, and showed the "intellectuals" that they are miserable failures, since they have been there for decades and have managed to make everything worse. The January 12th earthquake has proven that Haiti's so called "intellectual" class are failures and they no longer belong in the leadership team of the country. They failed to make any kind of impression after the earthquake and seven months later, Millions - if not Billions later, they still fail to regulate the organizations who flooded the country and demand them to employ Haitians to get them back up on their feet instead of waiting on a hand to come feed them.
Wyclef's short run also helped many struggling writers, contributors and ex-celebrities get back on the limelight. They all came out of nowhere and all of a sudden, they had this "deep love and interest" in Haiti. When it comes to SOME of those "contributors" and "journalists', I am sure their work in Haiti is already over and will be on the first plane to wherever the next juicy story is. Their sole purpose for being in Haiti or writing refurbished articles about Wyclef was to get attention and twitter followers. Haiti's elections would not be so talked about if Wyclef was not a candidate. I hope they'd prove me wrong, but I am positive that I will not see one article about Haiti's elections until they are over. Unless, of course, Wyclef decides to keep the heat on, somehow. I am not sure how he can do that but I know he can.
I am sure Wyclef can still help the youth of Haiti stay focus, energized, calm and inspired to do good. Wyclef is still powerful enough to do just about everything he wanted to do as a president. One thing that I am hoping he will focus on is creating jobs for these young men who believe in him so much. Although, THEY only see them as weed-smokers and rejects, I believe they can be used efficiently for the betterment of themselves and Haiti. Jobs, jobs, jobs! Put them to work because "an idle mind/hand is the devil's playground". keep them busy, give them a way to earn a paycheck and we will see a change in our people and country. This will not happen overnight and I am not naive to think that they will all give up certain ways that they acquired over the years of misery they were subjected to, but we have to give hope and take a chance on them. When they catch a boat to other islands, or even to DR, they contribute greatly to the economy, pay taxes etc... So, I believe it is possible to change the image that we all have of the youth of Haiti. Wyclef could be that role model; that someone they will listen to, look up to and the one who can bring jobs to Haiti even if he is not President.
After recovering from tonight's deception, I am hoping that Wyclef will continue to represent, and work for Haiti. Continue to be the subject of my pride and make my heart swells every time you take the stage to either perform or talk on behalf of the voiceless.
Stay true to yourself, generous, kind and the beautiful person that you are. You are an authentic Haitian, like my dad told me yesterday on the phone.
May God continue to Bless You beyond measure! I was called an "ignorant" for supporting you, but I will definitely support you again should you decide to run in 2015.
When the rumors started flying around about Wyclef's candidacy, I knew I would support him because I was one of those people who used to say "Wyclef for President" way before the earthquake even happened. Then all of these articles about money and Yéle started to surface. It would hurt to read them, because Wyclef is my joy, pride and role model. He is that guy who came from nothing to being Wyclef Jean that the entire world knows and talks about. Once I realized that the people who were the quickest to call him a thief were some who are also cashing in in the name of Haiti and "bigging" up themselves for "saving Haiti" without seeing any result; when I look at how Wyclef's NGO was the only one run by a Haitian getting donations and international media attention, that they believe should have gone to them; when I read his explanation, when I remember that he started Yéle with his OWN money, I forgave him, hoped nothing else surfaced and supported him 100%. I refuse to be one of those self-destructive Haitians who joined voices with others to swing mud at him. You may not support the man, but it made no sense to tarnish his reputation for every little petty things. He is not a saint. But he probably was the cleanest candidate on the list!
Wyclef didn't win tonight. But I believe history was made. I will be able to tell my children that in 2010, Wyclef Jean made the entire globe talk about Haiti's elections and shed light on how dirty and unfair the process is. He energized the youth in Haiti, had the diaspora fired up and ready to go vote, and showed the "intellectuals" that they are miserable failures, since they have been there for decades and have managed to make everything worse. The January 12th earthquake has proven that Haiti's so called "intellectual" class are failures and they no longer belong in the leadership team of the country. They failed to make any kind of impression after the earthquake and seven months later, Millions - if not Billions later, they still fail to regulate the organizations who flooded the country and demand them to employ Haitians to get them back up on their feet instead of waiting on a hand to come feed them.
Wyclef's short run also helped many struggling writers, contributors and ex-celebrities get back on the limelight. They all came out of nowhere and all of a sudden, they had this "deep love and interest" in Haiti. When it comes to SOME of those "contributors" and "journalists', I am sure their work in Haiti is already over and will be on the first plane to wherever the next juicy story is. Their sole purpose for being in Haiti or writing refurbished articles about Wyclef was to get attention and twitter followers. Haiti's elections would not be so talked about if Wyclef was not a candidate. I hope they'd prove me wrong, but I am positive that I will not see one article about Haiti's elections until they are over. Unless, of course, Wyclef decides to keep the heat on, somehow. I am not sure how he can do that but I know he can.
I am sure Wyclef can still help the youth of Haiti stay focus, energized, calm and inspired to do good. Wyclef is still powerful enough to do just about everything he wanted to do as a president. One thing that I am hoping he will focus on is creating jobs for these young men who believe in him so much. Although, THEY only see them as weed-smokers and rejects, I believe they can be used efficiently for the betterment of themselves and Haiti. Jobs, jobs, jobs! Put them to work because "an idle mind/hand is the devil's playground". keep them busy, give them a way to earn a paycheck and we will see a change in our people and country. This will not happen overnight and I am not naive to think that they will all give up certain ways that they acquired over the years of misery they were subjected to, but we have to give hope and take a chance on them. When they catch a boat to other islands, or even to DR, they contribute greatly to the economy, pay taxes etc... So, I believe it is possible to change the image that we all have of the youth of Haiti. Wyclef could be that role model; that someone they will listen to, look up to and the one who can bring jobs to Haiti even if he is not President.
After recovering from tonight's deception, I am hoping that Wyclef will continue to represent, and work for Haiti. Continue to be the subject of my pride and make my heart swells every time you take the stage to either perform or talk on behalf of the voiceless.
Stay true to yourself, generous, kind and the beautiful person that you are. You are an authentic Haitian, like my dad told me yesterday on the phone.
May God continue to Bless You beyond measure! I was called an "ignorant" for supporting you, but I will definitely support you again should you decide to run in 2015.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Wyclef Running For President of Haiti: Keeping An Open Mind
For the past week or two, the web has been buzzing about Wyclef Jean running for President. Personally, I was one of those who said "Wyclef for President" even before the earthquake. But after the earthquake so many articles surfaced about Yelé's books not being correct and him paying his mistress thousands of dollars from Yéle's money. It made me sad to read these articles because I love Wyclef. He is our pride and represents his country around the world! So, it's hard to accept that he would PURPOSELY waste money donated for his people . I still do NOT believe that he would splurge on a mistress with Yéle's money. My opinion. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.
What I do find strange is how everyone is interested in how Yéle spends its money. I don't disagree with that. BUT why don't I see the same interest in other organizations that used Haiti to collect millions? Especially organizations that grew like mushrooms after January 12, 2010. Yéle existed BEFORE January 12. While I may agree that it's far from being a perfect organization when it comes to how its money is pent, at least I know it was not created because the earthquake looked like an opportunity to its creators. How about the other big organizations that received most of the MILLIONS donated by using pictures of our people suffering, crushed under concrete? If there was the same outrage, and articles about their books, maybe they would actually use those funds on what they received them for.
It's just strange that the ONE organization run by a Haitian that gets some media attention ,gets it for all the wrong reasons! Something is not right with that! When watching reports on Haiti or reading articles from the media giants, you would think that no Haitian is helping, while there are organizations run by Haitians that are doing what they can to help, with very little financial help. They get NO media time because there is no "smoking gun" information to put about them on the internet and no one knows them. It would not be juicy enough. Yéle gets all the attention, but for all the wrong reasons. Makes me wonder....
Now the big news is that Wyclef MAY run for president of Haiti in the next elections. So far they are rumors and people are freaking out already. Why? Some say he is not qualified enough. He doesn't have any political background. Some others say he doesn't speak French or he doesn't speak Creole enough (he is not Haitian enough like Oabama was not Black enough). Some say 'popularity doesn't mean qualification to be a leader" but even in the USA, running for office is about popularity (why didn't McCain win? He clearly had more experience). I even saw a tweet saying he is too ugly.
I understand why some may say he is not politically qualified for the job. But, for as long as I can remember, Haiti has had very politically qualified leaders, but look at where we are today. Even before the earthquake, Haiti was already a mess where money just vanished, the president doesn't care about the people, food prices skyrocket, everyone fix their own prices in any currency that pleases them, parents could not afford to pay their children tuition etc... Parents were giving away their children before the earthquake because they could not afford to raise them. All of this was happening with "politically qualified" people in power. And the earthquake just showed all of us that it's not about diplomas, and which language you speak to do good. Unfortunately, just about all of the heavy politically educated "leaders" of Haiti survived and look at where the people are six months later? Still under sheets, tents with babies, and they are not even able to provide security to them. Women, young girls, as young as 5 years old are getting raped; they are not even smart enough to demand all of the organizations to provide jobs to young Haitians even those with multiple degrees! Proof that diplomas don't make a man patriotic. Once they get paid, they don't care about the population.
Some others are panicking because Wyclef, so far, has shown some signs that he cares about the "little ones". And that won't work for SOME, should he become President. Since he was raised in the United States, he may want to set some standards for workers, for example, or even listen to the people when they talk to him (which never happens in Haiti). Some Haitians WANT Haiti to stay in limbo, so they can be in business and don't pay any taxes, pay less then minimum wage etc... A President who is listening to the people, grew up in the USA and might start doing things the normal way can be panicking to some.
Personally, I don't care that he doesn't have any political background. I think if he surrounds himself with new people, not those who are already there, he MIGHT do well. I think, if Wyclef runs and becomes President of Haiti and remembers how a real country should look like, he can rebuild and restart tourism again. By restarting tourism, jobs will be created for the people and they will start taking care of themselves, instead of begging, risking their lives catching boats to other places or go get lynched in the Dominican Republic. That's just one of the good things I can see coming out of this. So far, NO PRESIDENT has seen the potential of Haiti being a destination for tourists again. They are too busy begging and filling their pockets.
I am not sure how I feel about a potential run of Wyclef for President right now, but i am not against it. I am open to it. If he runs and presents plans that look like they may work for the betterment of Haiti, I'm all for it. Because I am tired of those beggars who have done nothing but making us look like fools to the world. All they have done is thieving and squeezing everything out of the population, selling the country piece by piece to whoever wants some. Next week, we will all know if he will run and if he does, I can't wait to see what he has to offer. Everyone makes mistakes; no one's perfect. If his plans sounds right to me, besides the fact that he is not some broke man who just wants the highest paying position in Haiti, he has my vote.
What I do find strange is how everyone is interested in how Yéle spends its money. I don't disagree with that. BUT why don't I see the same interest in other organizations that used Haiti to collect millions? Especially organizations that grew like mushrooms after January 12, 2010. Yéle existed BEFORE January 12. While I may agree that it's far from being a perfect organization when it comes to how its money is pent, at least I know it was not created because the earthquake looked like an opportunity to its creators. How about the other big organizations that received most of the MILLIONS donated by using pictures of our people suffering, crushed under concrete? If there was the same outrage, and articles about their books, maybe they would actually use those funds on what they received them for.
It's just strange that the ONE organization run by a Haitian that gets some media attention ,gets it for all the wrong reasons! Something is not right with that! When watching reports on Haiti or reading articles from the media giants, you would think that no Haitian is helping, while there are organizations run by Haitians that are doing what they can to help, with very little financial help. They get NO media time because there is no "smoking gun" information to put about them on the internet and no one knows them. It would not be juicy enough. Yéle gets all the attention, but for all the wrong reasons. Makes me wonder....
Now the big news is that Wyclef MAY run for president of Haiti in the next elections. So far they are rumors and people are freaking out already. Why? Some say he is not qualified enough. He doesn't have any political background. Some others say he doesn't speak French or he doesn't speak Creole enough (he is not Haitian enough like Oabama was not Black enough). Some say 'popularity doesn't mean qualification to be a leader" but even in the USA, running for office is about popularity (why didn't McCain win? He clearly had more experience). I even saw a tweet saying he is too ugly.
I understand why some may say he is not politically qualified for the job. But, for as long as I can remember, Haiti has had very politically qualified leaders, but look at where we are today. Even before the earthquake, Haiti was already a mess where money just vanished, the president doesn't care about the people, food prices skyrocket, everyone fix their own prices in any currency that pleases them, parents could not afford to pay their children tuition etc... Parents were giving away their children before the earthquake because they could not afford to raise them. All of this was happening with "politically qualified" people in power. And the earthquake just showed all of us that it's not about diplomas, and which language you speak to do good. Unfortunately, just about all of the heavy politically educated "leaders" of Haiti survived and look at where the people are six months later? Still under sheets, tents with babies, and they are not even able to provide security to them. Women, young girls, as young as 5 years old are getting raped; they are not even smart enough to demand all of the organizations to provide jobs to young Haitians even those with multiple degrees! Proof that diplomas don't make a man patriotic. Once they get paid, they don't care about the population.
Some others are panicking because Wyclef, so far, has shown some signs that he cares about the "little ones". And that won't work for SOME, should he become President. Since he was raised in the United States, he may want to set some standards for workers, for example, or even listen to the people when they talk to him (which never happens in Haiti). Some Haitians WANT Haiti to stay in limbo, so they can be in business and don't pay any taxes, pay less then minimum wage etc... A President who is listening to the people, grew up in the USA and might start doing things the normal way can be panicking to some.
Personally, I don't care that he doesn't have any political background. I think if he surrounds himself with new people, not those who are already there, he MIGHT do well. I think, if Wyclef runs and becomes President of Haiti and remembers how a real country should look like, he can rebuild and restart tourism again. By restarting tourism, jobs will be created for the people and they will start taking care of themselves, instead of begging, risking their lives catching boats to other places or go get lynched in the Dominican Republic. That's just one of the good things I can see coming out of this. So far, NO PRESIDENT has seen the potential of Haiti being a destination for tourists again. They are too busy begging and filling their pockets.
I am not sure how I feel about a potential run of Wyclef for President right now, but i am not against it. I am open to it. If he runs and presents plans that look like they may work for the betterment of Haiti, I'm all for it. Because I am tired of those beggars who have done nothing but making us look like fools to the world. All they have done is thieving and squeezing everything out of the population, selling the country piece by piece to whoever wants some. Next week, we will all know if he will run and if he does, I can't wait to see what he has to offer. Everyone makes mistakes; no one's perfect. If his plans sounds right to me, besides the fact that he is not some broke man who just wants the highest paying position in Haiti, he has my vote.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Why Some of Us, Haitians CAN'T Go To Haiti Permanently or Long term
After the earthquake, I went to Haiti for a week as a volunteer. From the minute I got off the plane, I wasn't myself. After a drive through Port-au-Prince, I couldn't hold my tears. I was depressed from day one. But I was strong enough to stay at the hospital where we were staying for the entire week, instead of going to my mom, dad and only sibling and cry my heart out. I wanted to, I could have gone, but I didn't. I wanted to help anyway I could.
It was busy every day. I saw injuries that I will never forget. I had to watch people getting their fingers and other pieces of their body removed with no anesthesia, although it was one month after the earthquake; I had to hold hands and spend time with women who were in labor for hours until their babies came. They would not let me go eat because they won't understand what they are telling them to do (at least these were happy endings. It was scary, one baby didn't breathe immediately but after a lot of rubbing, she cried). The stench of some injuries are still in my mind. I met some incredible people who left their families to go clean those unbelievable injuries, and help in all kind of other ways and I thank them for their kindness everyday.
But there some others who are always attacking Haitians for not going to live there after the earthquake or help on a long term basis because "it's not their country and they are there doing it, so why can't we, etc...". First let me start by saying it's great that you are there helping. Thank you. But that doesn't give you a right to harass me or make backhanded comments to every Haitian you come across. You being there is your own choice.
Haiti is ALWAYS on my mind. I wish I could be there right at this moment. I would love to go back for even a week and volunteer again! But like MOST Haitians, my hands are tied. I have a family in that same country that has no jobs, no way for anyone to earn a living - Except those who are getting paid from the disaster and/or politicians - And my family is not one of those families. Therefore, I have to stay here, work and support my family. After all they've done to push me where I am today, I can't let them go in line in front of some NGO's door to beg for a bag of rice or let my sister sit at home and not finishing college. In a country where EVERYTHING is priced in U.S. dollar, even though most people get paid in Gourdes, I have to stay here as a back-up.
People are quick to judge without knowing why we, Haitians, don't go for a longer period of time to help in our own country. Some of us simply can't. But from where we are, we can try our best to make an impact in our own ways. Speak up for those who don't have a voice, denounce all of the unfairness that's being done to the people of Haiti and hope that we are heard.
It was busy every day. I saw injuries that I will never forget. I had to watch people getting their fingers and other pieces of their body removed with no anesthesia, although it was one month after the earthquake; I had to hold hands and spend time with women who were in labor for hours until their babies came. They would not let me go eat because they won't understand what they are telling them to do (at least these were happy endings. It was scary, one baby didn't breathe immediately but after a lot of rubbing, she cried). The stench of some injuries are still in my mind. I met some incredible people who left their families to go clean those unbelievable injuries, and help in all kind of other ways and I thank them for their kindness everyday.
But there some others who are always attacking Haitians for not going to live there after the earthquake or help on a long term basis because "it's not their country and they are there doing it, so why can't we, etc...". First let me start by saying it's great that you are there helping. Thank you. But that doesn't give you a right to harass me or make backhanded comments to every Haitian you come across. You being there is your own choice.
Haiti is ALWAYS on my mind. I wish I could be there right at this moment. I would love to go back for even a week and volunteer again! But like MOST Haitians, my hands are tied. I have a family in that same country that has no jobs, no way for anyone to earn a living - Except those who are getting paid from the disaster and/or politicians - And my family is not one of those families. Therefore, I have to stay here, work and support my family. After all they've done to push me where I am today, I can't let them go in line in front of some NGO's door to beg for a bag of rice or let my sister sit at home and not finishing college. In a country where EVERYTHING is priced in U.S. dollar, even though most people get paid in Gourdes, I have to stay here as a back-up.
People are quick to judge without knowing why we, Haitians, don't go for a longer period of time to help in our own country. Some of us simply can't. But from where we are, we can try our best to make an impact in our own ways. Speak up for those who don't have a voice, denounce all of the unfairness that's being done to the people of Haiti and hope that we are heard.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Every Experience is a Learning Experience - Every Exeprience is of Value
Working at that "Secret" place has definitely thought me some valuable lessons and will forever shape my behavior at future workplaces of similar structure, which I hope will never happen again! Below, are few of the lessons I have learned:
#1: NEVER do any favors because "it's a small company and it's OK to do certain favors". NO! Keep it strictly business. Go by the book. For example, DO NOT use your own car, your own gas to run errands for the company, unless you are properly compensated for it or your salary is big enough to do it for free. That so-called "Small Company" is only looking out for its bank account, not yours. At the end of the day, when you need gas, it will come out of your paycheck.
#2: They can't pay you overtime to do THEIR work because they are "tight on funds"? Then, the work can wait until the next day when you are on the clock. DO NOT punch out, and come back to do the company's work that is incomplete due to no fault of yours, because you are trying to "save them money and be a model employee" and because "it's such a small company, you should do some compromises." That same "Small Company" will not look at all of these "compromises" when it's time for them to get rid of you for financial reasons or whatever other reasons it may be. It can be ANY reason. To them, it all about business. Unlike what they usually say "you are an asset for the company", you are nothing but but something that can be replaced when they are "back on their feet".
#3: ALWAYS REMEMBER that your boss is just YOUR BOSS, no matter how "cool" or "friendly" he/she is with you. DO NOT do major sacrifices for him/her, unless you absolutely can or if it won't inconvenience you. To your boss, it's strictly business. It's all about "protecting the asset of the company he/she is responsible for". He/she is not there to protect you. Despite whatever favors you do for him/her or the company, he/she will look at you in the eyes at 4:30PM and tells you "today was your last day. You will be compensated..." and gives you 30 minutes to pack up! No hint, no warning that your job is at risk (they would not decide that one morning, your position is cut. All knew, except you). Maybe that's how it goes in the "professional world" but I would have the decency to tell my employee, if we have such a close professional relationship.
Again, this is a note to self. I will not let this experience tarnish my loyalty to future workplaces. But I will know what to do and what NOT to do. Maybe I will post some more "Lessons" soon. Or maybe I will post some positive things that happened also, although it won't be much. For now, I will leave it at that.
"Every experience is a learning experience. Every time we try something--win or lose--we learn, we grow, we attain more confidence and competence for the next time."
#1: NEVER do any favors because "it's a small company and it's OK to do certain favors". NO! Keep it strictly business. Go by the book. For example, DO NOT use your own car, your own gas to run errands for the company, unless you are properly compensated for it or your salary is big enough to do it for free. That so-called "Small Company" is only looking out for its bank account, not yours. At the end of the day, when you need gas, it will come out of your paycheck.
#2: They can't pay you overtime to do THEIR work because they are "tight on funds"? Then, the work can wait until the next day when you are on the clock. DO NOT punch out, and come back to do the company's work that is incomplete due to no fault of yours, because you are trying to "save them money and be a model employee" and because "it's such a small company, you should do some compromises." That same "Small Company" will not look at all of these "compromises" when it's time for them to get rid of you for financial reasons or whatever other reasons it may be. It can be ANY reason. To them, it all about business. Unlike what they usually say "you are an asset for the company", you are nothing but but something that can be replaced when they are "back on their feet".
#3: ALWAYS REMEMBER that your boss is just YOUR BOSS, no matter how "cool" or "friendly" he/she is with you. DO NOT do major sacrifices for him/her, unless you absolutely can or if it won't inconvenience you. To your boss, it's strictly business. It's all about "protecting the asset of the company he/she is responsible for". He/she is not there to protect you. Despite whatever favors you do for him/her or the company, he/she will look at you in the eyes at 4:30PM and tells you "today was your last day. You will be compensated..." and gives you 30 minutes to pack up! No hint, no warning that your job is at risk (they would not decide that one morning, your position is cut. All knew, except you). Maybe that's how it goes in the "professional world" but I would have the decency to tell my employee, if we have such a close professional relationship.
Again, this is a note to self. I will not let this experience tarnish my loyalty to future workplaces. But I will know what to do and what NOT to do. Maybe I will post some more "Lessons" soon. Or maybe I will post some positive things that happened also, although it won't be much. For now, I will leave it at that.
"Every experience is a learning experience. Every time we try something--win or lose--we learn, we grow, we attain more confidence and competence for the next time."
Friday, July 2, 2010
Couldn't Wait to Go!
Where do I start? My life has been quite interesting for the past 4 weeks. From being bullied by toxic employees to being laid off once again because of "economic reasons". Let me start with the bullies first. I worked for 8 months for that small company, to which I was dedicated. They would ask me to go get office supplies, go to multiple offices downtown on a busy day, while there are 3 cruise ships at the doc, which means crazy traffic; and I had a pretty good professional relationship with my immediate boss. We worked together before for a previous company, and he re-hired me when the opportunity was available. And I am grateful for that. But have I been an airhead, I doubt that he would have hired me again.
Anyway... I worked with some interesting characters. There is an unimaginable amount of daily drama for such a tiny workplace. I stayed away from the drama for almost the entire time I was employed there. Although words always came back to me about who is saying what about me, I tried my best and ignored it all; that is until I was attacked by a bully for no reason.
I always wonder what makes people so obnoxious and hateful towards others who never bothered them in the first place. First, this person started to demand that I get write up for things I never did. When that didn't get the reaction she expected, she attacked me and it went like this: "I hate when you're giving this look like you are something. You're nobody..." she then slammed the door saying "This bitch thinks she is better than everybody else". He r big problem was that I was never in their circle telling them who I slept with, what I ate, where I went... That made me "stalk up". I had enough. The name calling was uncalled for. So, I went to TRY talking to her. but as the loud-mouth, bully that she is, she started to yell on top of her lungs! No professionalism. Majority of these people act just like they do when they are at home; and it was just disgusting. The only thing that I said that caught her attention was "You don't know me like that. Don't mess with me". Once more, she started yelling like a little kid "YOU'RE THREATENING ME! I AM GOING TO THE POLICE". When I realized I was just wasting my time trying to reason someone who had no common sense to begin with, I gave up. I thought we were done. But I was wrong.
Days later, I once again complained to her manager about her behavior, because she accused me of putting her picture on Facebook. Her proof? Her pet who I added on Facebook, which I ALWAYS knew was a mistake but was trying to be nice and kept her, showed her a picture of someone's disgustingly scary feet that I added to my page and decided that they were her feet. I removed the troll from my page but the fact that they could not prove that the picture was her, really pissed them off and I would not break down and cry and apologize to her so she could be my friend. I mean, really? I am not attention-deprived, I didn't come to work to make friends, I have been burnt before and I refused to repeat the same mistake. I was friendly with everyone. I always said "good morning, good afternoon..." But it wasn't enough to some.
Her manager called us into a "meeting". When she walked through the door, she said "Did you call me for "THIS"" pointing at me. She then proceeded to talk about "the picture" and said "You little trash. You're trash. From a poor country. I can't do my feet because i send money that I make to your poor country". I could not hold my laugh. Putting all bad hygiene on Haiti. I told her that she is stupid, which was the only name I called her and it wasn't a lie. I know I should not have stooped to her level but for a moment I had to say something. Although she "apologized" for misunderstanding "my looks" but she promised me that "she will deal with me and by the time she was done with me, I would regret it". She said "you think you're all that. You think you're cute, but you don't impress me , you little Haitian trash...." Her real problem was that I'm a Haitian with an office position and not under her, cleaning. The common thing on St. Thomas is that all Haitians are dumb, have no skills and dress funny. If you can wear something nice and can say two words in English, ALMOST everyone boldly tells you "You don't look Haitian". I have no problem with cleaning, because I clean my house regularly, but she could not be at peace with the thought that she would never be my manager. Not in this life.
When the "big manager" came, the one to whom I have been very loyal, he called us into a "meeting". Instead of addressing the behavior of the bully, he suggested that we both resign, should he ever have to mediate anything between us again. Let me be clear. This is the manager who hired me twice, who basically knows what I would and would not do at the job and this the same manager who basically knows that this person is a bully because I am not the first to be in an altercation with her. I might have been the only one who dared standing up to her. I was not asking for anyone to be fired. But suggesting that I quit because I am being harassed by another manager was an eye-opener.
After the "meeting", she went to her "pet" saying "Fu** all Haitians." She then turned and saw me by the cooler, and said "Fu** Haitians. I will make her suffer. I will make her suffer real bad". I had to go and get a police report and was ready to go further with it. On this small island, every threat is ought to be taken seriously because most of the time, they become reality. Although I was being bullied AT THE JOB, the manager suggested that whatever will go down, just don't involve the property. Otherwise, do whatever. I realized that day that I was so wrong for being so loyal to that boss. I was so wrong for being so dedicated. Always ready to stay overtime even if i had plans, always ready to pick him up if he has car trouble, always ready to use my own gas to do the company's business... Yet all he cared about was that the property he was managing. Not the welfare of the employee(s).
The next day, I asked him again "if i am being harassed by that employee, what do i do? Since I can't come to you unless I bring my resignation letter?" he once again said "the two of you need to work it out or else maybe you should find something else..." Which wasn't needed because everyone knew I was going to be laid off since 3-4 months ago. Someone cared to tell them. Someone with the power to hire and fire but never bothered to tell me. But I knew. Things are not so secret at that "secret place". Although he didn't confirm it to me, I was emotionally prepared for the news.
On June 30th, it happened. At 4:30 or so, he went to the meeting room and called me and the other manager and gave me the news. "Your position is being eliminated because of economic reasons. After doing a thorough business review, we decide to restructure and regretfully it affects your position. So today was your last day. You will be compensated blablabla" All I said was "Ok. Thank you." And I left to gather my things, which were not much. I never have much in any desk or office I've had so far... I was sad that I left that toxic place. I was surprisingly calm and even relieved. It wasn't a shock, but I was disappointed to see that he surprised me like this. He could have warned me weeks ago. You know, something like "You know things are not good right now. So, don't be shocked if you get this news soon..." Not that he had to but...
I am still debating with myself: Should I send a "Thank you" email to him anyway for the opportunity? I definitely learned valuable lessons from that experience: Trust no one. Be loyal to no one but God. Chacun pour soi, Dieu pour tous! (Every man for himself, and God for us all.)
Anyway... I worked with some interesting characters. There is an unimaginable amount of daily drama for such a tiny workplace. I stayed away from the drama for almost the entire time I was employed there. Although words always came back to me about who is saying what about me, I tried my best and ignored it all; that is until I was attacked by a bully for no reason.
I always wonder what makes people so obnoxious and hateful towards others who never bothered them in the first place. First, this person started to demand that I get write up for things I never did. When that didn't get the reaction she expected, she attacked me and it went like this: "I hate when you're giving this look like you are something. You're nobody..." she then slammed the door saying "This bitch thinks she is better than everybody else". He r big problem was that I was never in their circle telling them who I slept with, what I ate, where I went... That made me "stalk up". I had enough. The name calling was uncalled for. So, I went to TRY talking to her. but as the loud-mouth, bully that she is, she started to yell on top of her lungs! No professionalism. Majority of these people act just like they do when they are at home; and it was just disgusting. The only thing that I said that caught her attention was "You don't know me like that. Don't mess with me". Once more, she started yelling like a little kid "YOU'RE THREATENING ME! I AM GOING TO THE POLICE". When I realized I was just wasting my time trying to reason someone who had no common sense to begin with, I gave up. I thought we were done. But I was wrong.
Days later, I once again complained to her manager about her behavior, because she accused me of putting her picture on Facebook. Her proof? Her pet who I added on Facebook, which I ALWAYS knew was a mistake but was trying to be nice and kept her, showed her a picture of someone's disgustingly scary feet that I added to my page and decided that they were her feet. I removed the troll from my page but the fact that they could not prove that the picture was her, really pissed them off and I would not break down and cry and apologize to her so she could be my friend. I mean, really? I am not attention-deprived, I didn't come to work to make friends, I have been burnt before and I refused to repeat the same mistake. I was friendly with everyone. I always said "good morning, good afternoon..." But it wasn't enough to some.
Her manager called us into a "meeting". When she walked through the door, she said "Did you call me for "THIS"" pointing at me. She then proceeded to talk about "the picture" and said "You little trash. You're trash. From a poor country. I can't do my feet because i send money that I make to your poor country". I could not hold my laugh. Putting all bad hygiene on Haiti. I told her that she is stupid, which was the only name I called her and it wasn't a lie. I know I should not have stooped to her level but for a moment I had to say something. Although she "apologized" for misunderstanding "my looks" but she promised me that "she will deal with me and by the time she was done with me, I would regret it". She said "you think you're all that. You think you're cute, but you don't impress me , you little Haitian trash...." Her real problem was that I'm a Haitian with an office position and not under her, cleaning. The common thing on St. Thomas is that all Haitians are dumb, have no skills and dress funny. If you can wear something nice and can say two words in English, ALMOST everyone boldly tells you "You don't look Haitian". I have no problem with cleaning, because I clean my house regularly, but she could not be at peace with the thought that she would never be my manager. Not in this life.
When the "big manager" came, the one to whom I have been very loyal, he called us into a "meeting". Instead of addressing the behavior of the bully, he suggested that we both resign, should he ever have to mediate anything between us again. Let me be clear. This is the manager who hired me twice, who basically knows what I would and would not do at the job and this the same manager who basically knows that this person is a bully because I am not the first to be in an altercation with her. I might have been the only one who dared standing up to her. I was not asking for anyone to be fired. But suggesting that I quit because I am being harassed by another manager was an eye-opener.
After the "meeting", she went to her "pet" saying "Fu** all Haitians." She then turned and saw me by the cooler, and said "Fu** Haitians. I will make her suffer. I will make her suffer real bad". I had to go and get a police report and was ready to go further with it. On this small island, every threat is ought to be taken seriously because most of the time, they become reality. Although I was being bullied AT THE JOB, the manager suggested that whatever will go down, just don't involve the property. Otherwise, do whatever. I realized that day that I was so wrong for being so loyal to that boss. I was so wrong for being so dedicated. Always ready to stay overtime even if i had plans, always ready to pick him up if he has car trouble, always ready to use my own gas to do the company's business... Yet all he cared about was that the property he was managing. Not the welfare of the employee(s).
The next day, I asked him again "if i am being harassed by that employee, what do i do? Since I can't come to you unless I bring my resignation letter?" he once again said "the two of you need to work it out or else maybe you should find something else..." Which wasn't needed because everyone knew I was going to be laid off since 3-4 months ago. Someone cared to tell them. Someone with the power to hire and fire but never bothered to tell me. But I knew. Things are not so secret at that "secret place". Although he didn't confirm it to me, I was emotionally prepared for the news.
On June 30th, it happened. At 4:30 or so, he went to the meeting room and called me and the other manager and gave me the news. "Your position is being eliminated because of economic reasons. After doing a thorough business review, we decide to restructure and regretfully it affects your position. So today was your last day. You will be compensated blablabla" All I said was "Ok. Thank you." And I left to gather my things, which were not much. I never have much in any desk or office I've had so far... I was sad that I left that toxic place. I was surprisingly calm and even relieved. It wasn't a shock, but I was disappointed to see that he surprised me like this. He could have warned me weeks ago. You know, something like "You know things are not good right now. So, don't be shocked if you get this news soon..." Not that he had to but...
I am still debating with myself: Should I send a "Thank you" email to him anyway for the opportunity? I definitely learned valuable lessons from that experience: Trust no one. Be loyal to no one but God. Chacun pour soi, Dieu pour tous! (Every man for himself, and God for us all.)
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